November 7, 2011


I mentioned a few times lately about Josh having some health problems.
I'm going to start out by saying that Joshua is healthy.
That's the most important thing.
Otherwise, this post is going to be drama-heavy.
The testing he had done is a fairly common procedure, but it was still scary for us.
We are young and not used to health scares - this was totally new for us. 
 I spent the morning and afternoon sitting bedside to my husband hooked up to wires, tubes and for the most part unconscious/extremely loopy.
I wish his doctor didn't scare us so badly with words like "severe, immediately, urgent, etc" or list off the things that 'could' be wrong...example: cancers. AH.
Anyway, we went to the hospital happy and calm just wanting to get these things over with.
I wasn't allowed in the room during the procedure but I was before and after.
I left my husband with his big happy smile, a kiss and went to sit in the waiting room.
After an hour the nurse called me back in to be with him.
I didn't expect to get emotional but I also didn't expect to see my husband laying in bed, not being able to talk or lift his head. 
His eyes were rolled back in his head and he wouldn't squeeze my hand back. 
I didn't realize they were going to put him out or what the effects of these things would be like.
He was so helpless, so lifeless.
I couldn't help but cry a little thinking about what if things were more serious - what if he was really sick. 
Would I be emotionally strong enough to care for him?
If it weren't bad enough, the nurses were playing the song "If I Die Young"...yeah, great choice ladies.
As he started to wake up he didn't know where he was.
He panicked for a moment but couldn't even lift his head.
Then, his heart monitor went off...his heart rate was extremely low.
I freaked out and yelled for the nurse - she calmly assured me that it was normal for that to happen when he was so sedated.
And me, being the worrier that I am couldn't stop thinking "what if these nurses don't know what they're doing...what if they gave him too much of the medicine they did to put him under, what if his heart stops!"
It took almost an hour for him to wake up and when he did I had to help him get dressed because he collapsed on the floor. 
After that the drugs started to wear off and I slowly got my husband back.
By 4pm we were home eating dinner at the table and all back to normal. 

I will always be there by your side.
I will take care of you - in sickness and in health.
Don't worry, I will always be there.
I love you.


  1. Jordan! Hi. : ) I just now was going through old comments and saw one you'd left on my blog a couple of months back.
    I feel terrible that I didn't get back to you--especially after SUCH a sweet comment. You're so lovely!

    So glad to hear that everything went well with your husband's procedure...I can't even imagine how scary that all must have been. Ugh. You are one strong girl. : )

    Following your blog now! It's so adorable. Us young mamas/wives have to stick together. : )

  2. We went through a cancer scare earlier this year (my husband is a lot older). He had surgery and everything turned out really well. And you know what? It made us so much stronger. Even having to just think about the possibility of losing your husband early in life really puts things in perspective. You are really facing one of life's biggest fears right now. And that can only make the both of you stronger for the future!