January 14, 2013

Babies Don't Keep.

"Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
 but children grow up,
as I've learned to my sorrow. 
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby.
Babies don't keep."
Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

There are days when Viv wakes up, jumps off the bed and begins her day all by herself.
She runs out to the kitchen and gets her breakfast that I made for her, eats and then plays with her toys for hours. 
She just goes into her own little world and stays there until she's satisfied. 
I sit right next to her and watch her as she builds towers, puts her people in their palace, zooms her cars around the floor.
We laugh and sing and she just enjoys herself and her special things.
She doesn't need me as much on these days.

Then there are days where she will wake up, run out to the kitchen (where I usually am - cooking breakfast) and just wants me to hold her.
Today was one of these days.
The kind of day where if I put her down for a second she wraps her arms around my leg and says "Mama!" until I pick her up.
The kind of day where we just sit on the couch for hours and she lays in my arms and I sing her her favorite songs while she plays with my hair.
The kind of day where at any given moment I have two little arms holding tight around my neck and little lips giving my cheeks soft kisses.
These days are my favorite.
Slow, easy, and filled with tiny quiet moments.

I, by nature, have a very hard time just letting things go and relaxing.
I can't sit still if there are dishes in the sink or the floors need to be swept. 
I can't stop making lists in my head of all the things that need to be done, what our next meal will be, etc. 

More and more I've been trying to let these things go.
My baby girl is growing up right before my eyes and there is no way of slowing her down.
Every day she is bigger and smarter than the day before.
Every day she is more independent and less reliant on me.

In just a few short months we'll be adding a new baby into our life and it's going to change the way our family operates.
Things will be different and we'll have to adjust to new schedules and Viv will no longer be the only baby vying for my attention and affections. 
So, today I am savoring and breathing in every single slow moment with the little girl who stole my heart. 
I am so deeply loving those tiny arms squeezing me so tight, those tiny fingers brushing my cheek, and all those little laughs and songs her voice whispers to me.
Tomorrow is a whole new day and I may not be so lucky as to get as many snuggles and loves as I'm getting today. 
Tomorrow may be one of those fast, independent days where she doesn't want me quite so close to her.
Tomorrow she will be older and not as tiny.
So now I'm going to go lay my body next to hers as she quietly and peacefully sleeps and breathe her in before this day is forever gone; before my baby is longer a baby. 

1 comment:

  1. That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing!