August 21, 2011

20 years.

Sometimes...well actually a lot of the time I forget how young Hubs and I are. We have done SO much with our lives that it seems almost unreal that we both are only 20 years old. Sometimes I feel worn out and at least 10 years older than I am. Sometimes when the days are long and patience is thin I feel like we've been married for *years* when we've really only been married for 10 months. 
All my life I wanted to grow up. Just grow up and get on with things. I was always in a hurry to make time pass faster than it was, to do everything I could with the days I had. 
I definitely still am that girl. 
The girl with the passion for life. 
The girl who wants to do and see everything she can.
But I do wish that time would slow down!
August 2010-August 2011 has been a whirlwind. 
Last year on my birthday I was celebrating with one of my best friends at her bridal shower and it feels like that was just yesterday and now we're both married for almost a year! 
Fast forward a year and now I'm almost 5 months pregnant. It doesn't seem real.
It doesn't seem possible that today I am just turning 20 years old, yet I have done and seen things that a lot of people don't experience in a lifetime.

I keep saying "I'm only 20 years old" but at the same time my heart is feeling "I'm 20 years old! It can't be - please make time stop!"
I would not change anything about my life or about this past year. People are constantly trying to give me a hard time about being married so young, and now becoming a mother. Our decision to become a family at 19 was our choice and we don't regret a single step. Being married has been the hardest and yet the most beautiful thing in my life. I have loved more deeply than words can express. I have learned more than I have ever learned in school or college. I've learned to love and be loved in such a deeper way than ever before, to have patience when I feel like I can't hold on any longer; I've learned to laugh, to cry and to be a strong rock when I need to and sometimes when I don't want to. I've learned to give myself up and put my husband first; and I re-learn all of these things everyday. 
I cannot wait to see what this year brings. 
Every day is a new gift from God and I am thankful for every breath I take.
 Even though it may not always be easy, I have a beautiful life. 
I'm going to be a mother soon. 
I'm going to be a stay-at-home mother. My dream.
It's going to be hard; but it's going to be beautiful.
I have my lover and supporter standing by my side and we're going to tackle this year together.
Here's to being 20, Babe!

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